Coqui

When I think about my life I always remember the happy times and my happy thoughts, after all I consider myself a very positive person.

If I would pray for the sun and it rained, then I would just focus on my day, the fun, the company, the laughs...

I went to college and it was hard... but I remember the Friday nights (TMI if I tell you why :) ). The parties, the crushes, the study groups and the friends. I don't remember every test I failed even though I do remember lots of them being failed...

But despite all the happy memories I have in me and that will last forever I've never forgotten the times when my heart broke. And I'm talking about the big heart breaks... Real ones, the epic ones.

Of course I've felt many times that it was the end of the world. Every break up or every broken dream made me not want to get out of bed the next day.

I've had so many people close to me, loved by me leave this world. It's been hard but in hindsight, I realize that these were just moments that I had to go thru to be the person that I am today. Like everything else we live thru, it shapes who you are and eventually you and your heart recover every single time.

Except twice.

Heart breaks? the ones that break your heart for real, they are of a different kind. They represent a piece of your heart that leaves you, that breaks away and that you will miss forever. You will feel that missing piece for the rest of your life. Maybe not everyday but it will always not be there.

Those moments I remember in slow motion.

I'll never forget the moment, 14 years ago that I asked the Doctor that was treating my grandfather to repeat those words. "Murio" / "He died". I remember his face, his expression. I remember the words coming out while he looked at me. I remember what he was wearing…

The second time was today. My heart broke again. My family didn't want to tell me because I just came back from heart surgery, but I felt it.

I don't' have enough words to explain who he was or what he meant, he was just Coqui.

We all knew him and by all I mean "all".

You would be in a conversation and his name some how will come up and I would always wonder, how did they know him? You know that joke when people ask you... You're from Venezuela? do you know a Jose? well, it was always something like... You're from Las Palmas? do you know Coqui? you're from Caracas, do you know Coqui? You go to the beach? do you know Coqui? the answer was yes all the time.

There isn't anybody in my life that knew from 12 to 22 that didn't know who he was in my life. We grew up together.

Growing up I had my friends from school, my family, cousins and I was lucky to also have my neighbors…. like those you see in movies… The Sandalot or Little Rascals, La pandillita, that was us. The ones that wait for you to come back from school to hang out with you, the ones that grow up with you, that you see and talk every day, went to the movies, hung out with, celebrated birthdays, Christmas and New Year. The ones that would count the minutes while waiting for you to finish with your homework, the ones that you just had to see every day. The ones that you played hide and seek with and made plans to steal mangos from the neighbours tree.

We were a group of 11. My Sister, Leo, Luis Alfredo, Cesar, Giovanni, Nabil, Ronald, Igor, Carlos Luis, Me and Coqui, some of us older, some of us younger. We were all friends and except for me and Giovanni they all had something in common. They all had a crush and teenager love with my sister, but nothing like Coqui.

I don't know when or if he ever stopped loving her, but he was always there.

Wherever we would go on vacation, he would show up, Margarita, Puerto Ordaz, Puerto La Cruz. He would run away from his family to be with us and break into places. He could do anything and be anywhere in order to be with her. He would always try to make her dreams come true. He would always stay loyal waiting for her to break up with her latest boyfriend so he could pop in again and remind her that he was there waiting for her.

He would get in trouble because of this and when I say trouble, I mean real trouble and that's another thing, Coqui loved trouble.

He was always risking his life somehow or someway. If there have every been times when I was scared, chances were that I was with him and he was doing something that he shouldn't. From jumping off a cliff to being at a cementary in the middle of the night, to other things that there is no need for me to mention... *whispers* I could go to jail...

He was a rebel without a cause and when he did have one it was always the same, passion.



He was always there for you no matter what and he lived his life to the max. He did things because he believed they were right, even if they were wrong.

In the past years it was difficult to keep in touch. When you don't live in the same country and he loved living his life in unconventional ways it's difficult. But even if I hadn't seen him he was always in my heart because he was my brother, he was part of our family, part of our lives and I will love him forever.

He deserves a note on the front page of every major news media in my country.

Everybody knew him, and felt something for him, I can guarantee you that. It was impossible to meet him and forget about him, he always left a lasting impression.

My favorite memories of him? Climbing up the walls of our apartment building to reach our bedroom (my sister's and I) when she finally said yes to him. He climbed and held onto the bars of the windows to get a good night kiss… he was so happy and had such a big grin in his face, he was literaly over the moon. I will never forget his smile or his laugh, it was big, mischievous.

He would make fun of me and he loved making fun. He would knock at my house after bed time trying to convince me to do his homework because he really didn't like school and I was supposed to be his tutor.

He would come to our house when he did something bad and knew he was caught. He didn't want to sleep at home, so we would sneak him in and have a make up bed between my sister's and my twin beds.

He would come to our apartment because we called him at 3am, there was a flying cockroach that we needed somebody to take care off.

When he had surgery for his jaw and his teeth were all tied up, we couldn't hear him laugh but I remember his smile when he told me that he had just had a burger with fries, he always found a way... he put it in a blender and drank it.

But my most treasured memory and the one that changed our lives was the day we moved into our house in Los Caobos and he stood underneath our balcony. I was 12, he was 10 and stood there looking at my sister and I and asked us to come down and play: Hi, I'm Coqui…